I did it today. I took the leap. I’m leaving my job in the middle of the year, and here are my reasons for quitting.
Why I’m Leaving My Job: The Reasons
Having previously dealt with depression and anxiety in the workplace (which you can read about here), after one rather tumultuous year, I became very sensitive to administrative issues. I was hyper-critical of myself. Taking everything and anything to heart, I laid all the blame at my feet.
I had never planned on leaving my job. However, it became a heavy weight for my shoulders to bear. And even though I was no longer with that same administrative staff, it made me especially sensitive to any issues, especially those involving administration.
I entered this particular school year, though, happier than I had been in years. I felt the most ready and relaxed, recharged, and happy to go. It is the best I felt before the school year started. My room was prepared well ahead of time. All my papers were copied and on my front table, ready for the first days. I was gelling.
It All Fell Apart
Then it all fell apart. The moment the kids came and the demands started, I fell apart. Daily migraines of unconscionable pain took over. Uncertainty and insecurity swept through me. It was a daily struggle to get out of bed and go to work. Whether it was the stress of the parents, the ever-changing standards, the administrative expectations, the overwhelming paperwork, or all of the above, it had chewed away at me like a mouse on a block of cheese, and I was frayed.
I was suffering from virtually daily migraines. My lifetime battle with depression and OCD was becoming much more challenging to manage despite my medication. So a group of people, who had my best interests at heart, decided I needed a break. Thus in mid-October, I took the remainder of the second quarter off under the FMLA act.
The next six weeks were a gigantic blessing. I went from having six migraines per week to having two in 6 weeks. That in itself was a life-changing event. Yet on top of that, my family told me they’d never seen me smile so much. I was investing in myself and exploring my passions and hobbies, and I finally felt awake and alive again. It was so rejuvenating.
Then just before winter break, my husband and I made the big decision. I wanted to give my administrator as much notice as possible, so around December 1, I went to school for a visit. Then, I let my principal know I would not be returning. I was officially leaving my job. My reasons are my health, sanity, family, and the cost of the effort involved.
So I quit my job mid-year to stay home, take care of myself, and nurture my spirit and soul. As I told my husband when I walked back to my car and promptly got on my cell phone, “I feel happily irresponsible.” It was the most incredible feeling I had had in years.
Investing in Myself
So after two months (November and December) without a paycheck and living off my husband’s salary while dealing with two catastrophes and the holidays, we decided we could take the leap. I could leave my job and invest in myself and do what I needed to be happy.
It’s a little scary, or should I say exhilarating, but I know it also isn’t carved in stone. Things change, life goes on, and if need be, I can be a “breadwinner” again. But until that time, I’m taking some time to better myself, develop my passions, and do what I love.