I did it today. I took the leap. I’m leaving my job in the middle of the year and here are my reasons for quitting.
Why I’m Leaving My Job: The Reasons
Having previously dealt with depression and anxiety in the workplace, (which you can read about here) after one rather tumultuous year, I became very sensitive to administrative issues. I was hyper-critical of myself. Taking everything and anything to heart, I laid all the blame at my feet.
I had never planned on leaving my job. However, it became a heavy weight for my shoulders to bear. And even though I was no longer with that same administrative staff, it made me especially sensitive to any issues, especially those involving administration.
I entered this particular school year, though, happier than I had been in years. I felt the most ready and relaxed, recharged and really happy to go. It is the best I felt prior to a school year starting. My room was prepared well ahead of time. All my papers were copied and on my front table, ready for the first days. I was gelling.
It All Fell Apart
Then it all fell apart. The moment the kids came and the demands started in, I fell apart. Daily migraines of unconscionable pain took over . Uncertainty and insecurity swept through me. It was a daily struggle to get out of bed and go to work. Whether it was the stress of the parents, the ever changing standards, the administrative expectations, the overwhelming paperwork, or all of the above, it had chewed away at me like a mouse on a block of cheese and I was frayed.
I was suffering from virtually daily migraines. My lifetime battle with depression and OCD was becoming much more difficult to manage despite my medication. So a group of people, whom had my best interests at heart, decided that I needed a break. Thus in mid-October I took the remainder of second quarter off under the FMLA act.
The next six weeks were a gigantic blessing. I went from having six migraines per week to having two migraines in 6 weeks. That in itself was a life changing event. Yet on top of that, my family was telling me that they’ve never seen me smile so much. I was investing in myself and exploring my passions and hobbies, and I finally felt awake and alive again. It was so rejuvenating.
Then just before winter break, my husband and I made the big decision. I wanted to give my administrator as much notice as possible so around December 1, I went to school for a visit. It was then that I let them know I would not be returning. I was officially leaving my job. My reasons being my health, sanity, family, and the cost of the effort involved.
So I quit my job mid-year to stay at home and take care of myself and nurture my spirit and soul. As I told my husband, when I walked back to my car and promptly got on my cell phone, “I feel happily irresponsible.” It was the happiest feeling I had in years.
Investing in Myself
So after two months (November and December) without a paycheck and living off my husband’s salary while dealing with two catastrophes and the holidays, we decided we could take the leap. I could leave my job and invest in myself and do what I needed to be happy.
It’s a little scary, or should I say exhilarating, but I know it also isn’t carved in stone. Things change, life goes on, and if need be, I can be a “bread winner” again. But until that time, I’m taking some time to better myself, develop my passions, and do what I love.